Evolution of a Lifestyle

A Mountain Fire

2012-02-11T19:05:00.001-08:00

Happiness lies in the whispering wind, just beyond the charred trees.
Crossing a path consumed by fire, nature’s vengeful greed,
how terrifyingly fragile we must be.
The forest’s voice cries out in the night
as the charred flesh of the branches peels away.
The trees swaying in the darkness, moaning in fright,
we embrace their fear and begin to pray.
Mountain rain sizzles against the burning flame
as plumes of smoke rise to the sky, marking their claim.
The scarred mountain bleeds, its wounds deep
but the mountain people love it no less.
Instead of turning away from the marked face,
they turn to fill its need.
Banding together against the fiery wind, words of prayer rise to the skies
chanting a healing song as the fire dies.
The people of the mountains know well nature’s wrath
but they also know how to clear their once well beaten path.
People who save, people who care,
with their quiet words, these are the people who dwell there.
The fire’s ring leaves homes untouched but people protected,
the mountain claiming its own, creating its own circle of magic.
For those standing outside, it appears that
happiness lies in the whispering wind, just beyond the charred trees.

Finding Truth in Truth

2011-09-27T16:31:00.000-07:00

Truth. You’d think it would be simple, right? Look up the answer in a book, ask an expert, or even ask your mom. Moms know everything, after all. However, when it comes to food, I can’t seem to find the truth. Or, perhaps, there are too many truths, which seems to be the case when it comes to food. There are two major schools of thought that I am constantly bouncing between: traditional and vegan.

The first of these schools is the traditional diet rich in animal fat, bone broth, raw milk, and fermented foods. The traditional method of eating is endorsed by Weston A. Price, Sally Fallon, and many others. According to their research, people thrived on these diets throughout the centuries past and it is just now with our standard American diets (SAD) that we are starting to have diseases such as heart disease, diabetes, and even cancer. The proponents of these foods claim that our health as a nation is declining because of the increase in consumption of white flour, sugar, processed foods, and genetically modified foods (GMOs). Their solution is to eat a diet rich in the things that most doctors tell us to avoid – fats. Butter, meats, eggs, and yogurts are all staples of this diet. However, these are the foods labeled as “problematic” by our trusted sources such as the American Heart Association.

On the other hand, many weight loss, diet, and health coaches emphasize vegan or vegetarian diets as the most beneficial at reducing risk for man-made disease and for weight loss. Reduction of risk plus a healthy weight equals longevity, right? Vegan diets seem very new age and trendy. They seem to be part of a solution for our growing health problems. They restrict animal products in all forms and emphasize organic fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and some soy products. The downfall of the vegan diet, however, seems to be party its restrictiveness and partly the fact that very few, if any, soy products are available from non-GMO crops. The premise of this lifestyle is to feel good about what you are eating and feel good about helping the planet through a reduced carbon footprint. Also, you will be saving the lives of thousands of animals by not eating them.

The confusion continues… Switching between these two lifestyles, since they are such polar opposites, can wreck havoc on the body. The best choice seems to be to choose one lifestyle and stick with it, but the original question remains: how does one know if the truth presented by authorities is truly true?

Instead

2011-05-24T11:20:00.001-07:00

I look inside the depths of my soul but instead of light there's just a black hole.

I look within to find out who I want to be but instead I find the empty shell of me.

I seek solace in the words of men of God but instead I find lies and fraud.

Then I turn to the caressing whispers of nigh but instead I find they are only saying goodbye.

I seek wisdom from pages long since yellowed with age but instead I find merely lies on the page.

I pull myself close to heal my wounds but instead I feel the pull of the moon.

I heed its call with my soul as offering but instead I find myself more suffering.

I came to you then with my soul laid bare but instead you turned and left it there.

Instead of love, instead of life, instead of wisdom, I have this life.

It's a life I can't live for another day so instead I will just be on my way.

Thinking about food too much…

2011-04-20T18:49:00.001-07:00

I think I may have an eating disorder of some sort. I think about, read about, and obsess over food constantly. I get worked up over what is "best" whether it is traditional foods along the vein of Nourishing Traditions and Weston A Price, vegan eating because it is not cruel to animals, or even the other restrictive diets like gluten free. I read about them, study them, research them to the ends of the internet, and finally I get so frustrated and confused that I binge.

In high school, I fought with mild anorexia - I wouldn't eat but maybe 500-800 calories a day for weeks at a time, and then I would binge. I would carry around a huge bag of M&M's and eat on them all day. I would hide in the bathroom (still do) and eat so that people wouldn't see me. I never purged, so I don't think it was bulimia, but I thought I was a huge cow at 120 pounds (5'7").

Now, I am grossly overweight and still obsessed about food. I read and study things like the Weston A Price site that pushes bone broths, meats, raw dairy, etc. And then I vomit when I try to cook meat. I just cannot stand the appearance or smell of raw meat. Now, if I go through the Chick-fil-A drive thru, I can put back some chicken nuggets.

Then I start to thinking maybe I should just give up meat. I research vegetarianism and then read about vegans and think, "Gosh, being just vegetarian or just eating fish isn't even close to good enough! I should be a vegan!" And then I give that a go and get frustrated and binge again.

I know that most, if not all, eating disorders have most to do with control, so that's one reason I think I have an eating disorder.

Since I often hide and eat (or hit a drive thru and then hide the "evidence" of my excursion), I started looking and found this online:

Binge eating disorder (BED) - when a person can't control the desire to overeat and often keeps the extreme eating a secret. People with this eating disorder feel no control during the times they are eating to excess. During binge eating, a person may eat more quickly than normal, eat until feeling discomfort, eat large amounts of food when not hungry, and eat alone. Unlike bulimia and anorexia, a person doesn't try to rid the body of extra food by doing things like vomiting, fasting, or exercising to the extreme. Because of this, many people who have this illness are overweight. A person can feel , shame, and guilt during a binge, which can lead to bingeing again, causing a cycle of binge eating. Like with anorexia, people with BED can fear gaining weight, want to lose weight, and dislike the way their bodies look. BED most often starts in the late teenage years or early adult years. Some experts believe BED is the most common eating disorder. The illness often develops soon after extreme weight loss from a diet. BED can be hard to diagnose and can be mistaken for other causes of obesity (being overweight). People with BED are often overweight because they maintain a high calorie diet without exercising. Medical problems can happen, like those found with obesity, such as high cholesterol levels, high blood pressure, and diabetes. BED also increases a person's risk for gallbladder disease, heart disease, and some types of cancer. People with BED often suffer from depression.

I also found this information, which seems to relate to my complete obsession with figuring which school of thought is the "Healthiest" option.

Orthorexia Nervosa
Many of the most unbalanced people I have ever met are those who have devoted themselves to healthy eating. In fact, I believe some of them have actually contracted a novel eating disorder for which I have coined the name "orthorexia nervosa." The term uses "ortho," meaning straight, correct, and true, to modify "anorexia nervosa." Orthorexia nervosa refers to a pathological fixation on eating proper food.
Orthorexia begins, innocently enough, as a desire to overcome chronic illness or to improve general health. But because it requires considerable willpower to adopt a diet that differs radically from the food habits of childhood and the surrounding culture, few accomplish the change gracefully. Most must resort to an iron self-discipline bolstered by a hefty dose of superiority over those who eat junk food. Over time, what to eat, how much, and the consequences of dietary indiscretion come to occupy a greater and greater proportion of the orthorexic's day.
The act of eating pure food begins to carry pseudospiritual connotations. As orthorexia progresses, a day filled with sprouts, umeboshi plums, and amaranth biscuits comes to feel as holy as one spent serving the poor and homeless. When an orthorexic slips up (which may involve anything from devouring a single raisin to consuming a gallon of Haagen Dazs ice cream and a large pizza), he experiences a fall from grace and must perform numerous acts of penitence. These usually involve ever-stricter diets and fasts.
This "kitchen spirituality" eventually reaches a point where the sufferer spends most of his time planning, purchasing, and eating meals. The orthorexic's inner life becomes dominated by efforts to resist temptation, self-condemnation for lapses, self-praise for success at complying with the chosen regime, and feelings of superiority over others less pure in their dietary habits.

Maybe I am just a messed up mess…but maybe I need to go to meetings! AAAAAHHHH!

Perhaps I think about grammar too much…

2011-03-17T08:07:00.001-07:00

The Preposition Song

Over, around, under, beside

Watch that plane fly high in the sky.

Preposition, preposition

Won’t you give it a try…

Below the sun, above the trees

Flying through with the greatest ease.

Preposition, preposition

Try it and you’ll see.

Around, about, through and through

Preposition, I’m gonna sing it to you.

Preposition, preposition, you know it’s true!

So preposition, let’s review.

The plane can fly over, under, all around

And when it lands on the ground,

You will be so very proud.

You’ve accomplished your mission with great ambition

Of learning about the preposition!

~Sing a Song for Me~

2011-03-10T18:42:00.001-08:00

Sing a song for me
and let me hear the words written for my ears
Words to dry my tears and words to ease my fears
Sing a song for me
I’ll listen to the melody, let it move my body
Listen to the harmony, let it stir my soul
Sing a song for me
Chase away the nightmares that shatter my dreams
A lonely place where nothing is what it seems
Sing a song for me
and look me in the eyes.
Sing a song for me
but please don’t sing me lies
Sing a song for me
until the firelight dies

I thought of you today...

2011-03-10T18:39:00.000-08:00

I thought of you today as I do once in a while

Memories of our times spent together always make me smile

The years have passed in the blink of an eye

But, my friend, I am not ready to say goodbye

Perhaps in God's garden we'll meet again someday

For your life and our memories, each day I pray

Fearful of forgetting the way we were so many years past

Fearful of a day coming that may be our last

The secrets we shared and the chances we took

Will live in my heart like an unfinished book

Across these many miles I wish you could know

That the world is not ready to let you go

In The Night

2011-03-10T18:38:00.000-08:00

The sound is fury pouring down on my head.
The roar in my ears I have come to dread.

I hardly can think in the still of the night.
Those are the times my fears come to light.

With the blackness all around and static in the air,
My thoughts can’t help but to tarry there.

I wish them away; I wish for sweet dreams
But they visit me anyway, it always seems.

These thoughts consume me and lead me astray
But this too shall pass I try to say.

Without certainty and without conviction
I test the waters of my addiction.

Timidly at first and then I just dive in
And give my mind to the hopelessness within.

As I sink below the surface, I think it is best
But that’s not a theory I really want to test.

So I let my mind wander in the darkness of the night
Because only then does my body know what’s right.

For my body is at rest, however light
And my mind is spinning, preparing for flight.

It’s in these moments that the truth simply hides
But with the rising of the sun comes the changing of the tides.

I suppose this life is always ebb and flow
Much like my thoughts and the directions they go.

Dreamland

2011-02-24T18:49:00.000-08:00

Darkness rolls in like thick, black smoke billowing from a fire. Jack Frost's wintery kiss caresses my cheek, and my eyes flutter open. I am standing outside, but my gaze is immediately drawn upward to the explosions of brilliant colors lighting the night sky. I stand watching in awe as the colors explode with a fury and then fade into the milky darkness. The sound of the thundering explosions is tempered quickly by shrieks and peals of laughter all around me.

My attention is quickly drawn away from the heavens and back to the earth. There is a figure looming ahead in the distance. It is a character like none other that I have ever seen. Its face is grotesquely over imagined like some caricature come to life. The children do not fear. They run past me with squeals of delight and surround the masked figure. His eyes seem to be fixed on me, so I turn trying to escape his gaze. The booming overhead continues… louder, ever so loud.

I am suddenly aware of the icy pavement under my bare feet. I seek refuge from its callous embrace. The lights in the sky above are reflected in the black water of the lagoon. Their colors are distorted with each ripple of the water as the cool wind ruffles the surface. The same wind sings through the trees and whips my gown around my legs. It is calling to me.

Through the booming of the explosions overhead, I hear the echo of men yelling for me to stop. They are rushing toward me. I test the water with one bare foot. It is frigid, numbing. As my pale flesh succumbs to the liquid blackness, the lights play along my skin drawing me forward. The water laps gently at my thighs as I wade in deeper. It is to my waist before the men reach the edge. They do not dare risk the icy blackness. I reach the center of the lagoon and turn to see in the distance a throng of people gathered to watch the explosions in the heavens. They laugh and shriek gaily.

At the edge of the water, the men turn to see the final display of lights. My gown drifts behind me. It billows up like a great soft pillow and I am tired -- so very tired. I lay back onto the pillow and I can feel the icy water flow over my shoulders as I close my eyes. I take a breath and succumb to the night.

I reach out with my fingertips and feel the cool damp blades of grass. I put my hand to my cheek. It is moist. The dew has fallen. The fireworks show has long since ended and all that remains is the smell of firing powder and a haze in the sky. I am alone in the night. I must have fallen asleep because I had a dream last night.

Light of Passion

2011-02-04T14:45:00.001-08:00

I have always seen passion as a light that shined brightly on an object. Whatever people are passionate about, that is where their light shines. It is like a flashlight. The place where the beam of light is directed is the most illuminated although the areas nearby are also brightened a bit. The problem with me is that my passion does not seem to work that way. I shine my light on something that I think I am passionate about, but it's reflected. It's like shining a light on a prism. Fragments of the light shoot off into different directions illuminating things all around it. The light may not be as bright or as intense, but the light still shines.

My trouble, I think, comes from the fact that I cannot see the prism that the light is reflecting off of and so I try to focus on the many beams of light that are reflected from it, but I cannot see in that many different directions at once.

If I look into one fragment of light, I see wonderful books… endless books. Some of them are crisp and new with pages never turned. Others are older, tattered, with yellowing pages that seem to have a thin layer of air between each leaf that makes them almost just turn under their own power. I see leather bound classics and ancient letters between lovers. I see a roaring fire and hear its crackling as the wood turns to ash. There are rows and rows of glorious books with stories and characters and hopes and dreams and fears all waiting to be unlocked. But there's never time…. Never enough time to even try to read all of them, to try to experience the wonder and exhilaration that is bursting from the pages. They call to me softly, but I must turn away.

If I look into another fragment of light, I see bolts of cloth. There's every color and pattern and texture of cloth… cotton, muslin, linen, silk…. All waiting to become something from my fingertips. There are designs and patterns waiting to be created. But they are static, unmoving… because it is up to me to create them. But there is no time.

Another facet of light holds only an empty room with a single desk in the center. The room is quiet and brightly lit. I step toward the desk and my footsteps echo in the quiet room. There are several objects on the desk. As I look closer I see pens and paper. The paper is clean and white and beckons for words to transform it. I walk still closer to the lone desk and a pen moves nearer to the paper of its own accord. I hear scratching as the pen feverously carves black words into the white paper. Faster and faster the pen moves as I watch, spellbound. Before my eyes the page becomes darker and darker with the blackness of the pen's ink until the rich blackness spreads across the desk and drips down onto the gleaming floor pooling like blood. The rivers of ink creep toward my bare feet and I quickly step back in fear. But the ink stops and the pen drops to the ground. The room opens up before me and I am able to take in the whole picture. The rivers of ink spell out words…. "no time." And then they fade away… a story imagined yet not written… a story soon forgotten.

Yet another fragment yields a different passion. This passion is that of the skin, the flesh, the heart. I see bodies pressed together, fiery on cool white sheets. The rhythm of the dance is steady, that of a low drum…. Boom, boom, boom, boom…. The sound speeding and slowing as the bodies move in a harmony that they themselves create. One figure cries out and rises up over the other arching and panting until the screams of ecstasy are quieted. Soon the figures relax and the beating rhythm becomes only the pounding of their hearts thump, thump, thumping in unison. As a soft breeze cools their sweat dampened skin, they close their eyes. I think they may be sleeping until one figure rises from the sheets with wild eyes searching for me…. "There's never time for you" she whispers and my world fades away.

I am returned to the prism of light and I no longer wish to see what sadness the beams hold… what passions they extinguish in my heart. However, I cannot stop myself from peering into another shaft of light. In this light, there is a schoolroom. Clean chalk boards line the walls, erasers have been pounded free of chalky ghost of words long since swiped away, and there is quiet. There is no sound to be heard in the tiny school room. It is a time for reflection. It is a time to think of the lessons learned, no matter if the lessons were to be learned in arithmetic or history or life lessons learned the hard way. There is quiet, for now. But in the quiet I hear a clock ticking…. Counting the seconds, minutes, hours… counting the time I have left in this world. The school room itself is not the key to learning… Time spent in the school room is becoming scarce… the time is running out.

Another fragment of light comes to me and in it I see my closest friends. This fragment is the hardest to look into…. I see their smiling, happy faces illuminated and glowing under the reflected light. They're so happy and warm. They're drinking and eating and laughing together… but without me. I try to call out to them, but I have no voice. I am forgotten because there is no more time.

Without time, there is no passion. Perhaps that is why my passions are not illuminated by a single beam of light. Perhaps that is why I see a reflection of that light rather than the light itself. I cannot see my true passion because it is broken. I cannot see the prism itself because the light blinds my eyes. Maybe I am a ghost. I am an unseeing, unheard, unwanted... Ghost of myself..

Crayon Roll Up

2010-12-24T08:03:00.000-08:00

Natalie loves to color, but she's always breaking, losing, or umm...melting... her crayons! She would rather have markers, but since crayons make less mess (unless they are left in the car in the middle of summer...) she usually gets crayons to color with. I saw a tutorial online for this item and modified it a bit to make it suit my needs. And we have a crayon roll up!

Purses, purses galore!

2010-12-24T07:56:00.000-08:00

I found this totally amazing cream (even though it looks yellow in the picture because of my crappy photo skills...) and red toile the other day at Hobby Lobby. Sooo pretty! So I bought a yard of it and was able to make not one, but two! purses out of it. If I hadn't screwed up one of them, I probably could have squeezed three out of it... But, this is going to be the Christmas present for my mommy. I also made one almost identical (shorter handles, thinner tie) for my mother in law. The inside is just plain broadcloth, nothing special. But I love the red and cream combo!

Another Journal Cover

2010-12-24T07:48:00.000-08:00

This journal cover is for my sister in law, Ashley. So far, it is my favorite! I love stripes and the pink/brown combo, so it is just up my alley. I hope she likes it as well. It has an inner pocket for a couple pens and a tie closure.

Teddy Bear

2010-12-24T07:44:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned before, I am trying to do handmade gifts for as many people as possible this year.

My first (and so far, only) niece turns a year old in about a week and eats everything in sight. Her mommy says she's part goat. :)

So, instead of buying her a stuffed toy with eyes that could be eaten, I made her a cute little teddy bear. Of course, I made Natalie one too because I had to do a trial run first.

New Year's Resolutions Revisited

2010-12-21T17:27:00.000-08:00

In 2008, I started this little blog. I admit I have neglected it sorely. But, the premise for my blog was pretty simple. I wanted to evolve. My initial goals were:

1. Love every day. There's always something there that is good.
2. Take time to mediate everyday - even if it is just a few minutes before falling asleep.
3. Eat better. Make more meals with organic, local, in-season products.... and actually make them at home.
4. Learn to cook without a recipe.
5. Be creative with food and do not fear it.
6. Read more than just fiction.
7. Store food. Can food. Preserve it.
8. Be frugal. Make the money stretch. Eat leftovers. :-)
9. Exercise. (This is going to be a hard one for me!)
10. Go natural and earth friendly.

I think I am doing ok with most of those goals, but I am far from where I want to be. We still eat out a lot more than I would like to admit and I have yet to preserve any food! I am still reading a lot of fiction, but I do read the news every day now. That's an improvement, right? I have been working on making more frugal meals and planning out a little further. I am doing pretty well at cooking without a recipe too! The exercise... well... let's give it another go this year, shall we?

Teacher Gifts

2010-12-21T17:03:00.000-08:00

This Christmas, I am hoping to make use of my sewing skills and give predominately handmade gifts. Hopefully they will be appreciated and not thought of as a cheapskate way of saving money! (Because as often as I screw them up or have to do a practice one first, it probably would save me money to go to Wal-Mart or Target!)

First, for Natalie's teachers, I made journal covers. Now, these are not as fancy as some of the other ones you may find online, but I prefer to work without a pattern and just freestyle it, if you will. This first one is the one I made for Natalie's kindergarten teacher.

This next one is the one for the teacher's assistant. I gave it a little attempt at embroidery on the inside... hopefully it will stay put!

Each one is lined with batting, semi-quilted I suppose, and has an inner pocket for a pen or pencil. They fit the standard ugly black and white composition books that you can get in the school supply sections. Now, I am off to finish working on the project for my niece!

Cheers,
Melissa

World of Warcraft

2010-07-23T07:12:00.000-07:00

This is Amelea. She is my level 80 Blood Elf Warlock. Now, she just recently made it to 80, so she's not too special yet. I just wanted to show off her new clothes. One of my buddies made her a bunch of new gear because my stuff was awful. Isn't she pretty!?! I'm very excited about my new gear!

Choices

2009-11-15T07:10:00.000-08:00

Choices define who we are.

Choices define who we become.

Choices define who we leave behind.

After much reading, prayer, thought, and discussion, it is time to finally make a change. I pray this is a choice that makes its transition easily. The choice we have made is in response to the way so many people in the world today live. The choice we have made is not an entirely new thought. It’s something that we have been trying to implement for nearly a year. In fact, my New Year’s Resolution for 2009 was to begin implementing this change and have the conversion complete by 2010. We have, however, fallen behind.

I cannot speak for other countries nor can I speak for America as a whole because I have not experienced the entirety of the world or our great land. There are many things about America that I am proud to see, to live, to experience. We are, indeed, a great country, but there is one front on which we have failed. This front is our relationship with food. Many Americans have an addiction, and I call it an addition because it has the same consequences and effects as any other addiction one can develop. Many Americans have an addiction to processed food, fast food, and junk food. I am trying to break that addiction in myself and my family. My goal is to turn to healthier foods, local foods, and more natural foods.

I have often heard that change starts at home. Many people feel that they cannot make a difference because they do not have the ability to influence a large number of people. That is not true. If they can influence the life of one person, even if they are that person, then they have done a world of good. The change in them will in itself influence anyone with whom they come in contact. Thus, I aim to change myself and those things that I can control.

Our goals are outlined more specifically a little later, but the basis of my goal is to turn to a more traditional lifestyle. This includes cooking more meals at home, decreasing use of prepackaged and prepared foods, using traditional storage methods such as canning and deep freezing, and reserving candy as a special occasion treat. Yes, before you ask, I understand what a task this is that I am starting. It is a process. I know it will not happen overnight. This has been, however, more than a year in the making, so I pray that God will help me be strong in my convictions to do this because it is so important to the health of my family.

We are not healthy. Anyone can look at us and determine that. I am convinced that our health problems are not due to heredity or poor chance; rather, our health problems are a result of what we eat…or what we don’t eat. I am plagued by asthma, sleep apnea, constant congestion, fatigue, and a very annoying cough. My joints hurt. My muscles ache. I never feel “good.” I think much of this has to do with the fuel that I give my body. If you fill a performance car with gasoline littered with trash, will the car perform at top ability? No. Food is fuel for my body. It is not a reward. It is not a place to hide.

You may be wondering what this is all about. Well, it’s about life, a life that I want to live. I want to be able to see my children and grandchildren grow up. I want to be healthy enough to have more children. I want to raise my daughter in an environment that will foster good choices and a love of food that is healthy rather than garbage. I want her to learn moderation. I want her to learn that McDonalds is not an ideal dinner. I want her to learn that candy does not precede every meal. I want her to learn to enjoy a variety of foods and not be afraid to try new things. I want my husband to enjoy flavorful meals that nourish his body instead of harm it. I want my family to have a better relationship with food than the one that I have developed. Change begins at home, right? Hopefully by changing myself, I can change others as well.

Our goals regarding food:

1. Reduce the amount of prepackaged food to a minimal amount.

2. Eliminate fast food. There is always another option.

3. Reduce the amount of refined carbohydrates that are consumed. Some carbs are good for us, but white flour and white sugar are not.

4. Choose traditionally prepared foods whenever possible.

5. Drink mostly water.

6. Eliminate “candy” except on special occasions. It should be a treat, not an expectation.

7. Choose local foods whenever possible.

8. Choose foods that are in season whenever possible.

9. Start a garden.

10. Preserve food though canning and freezing to be used “out of season.”

11. Keep studying about food.

Our other goals:

1. Exercise. Encourage others to do so as well. This does not have to be formal, gotta go to the gym exercise. Any movement will do.

2. Rest. A body cannot heal without proper rest. It will wear out too soon.

3. Be happy. Look on the bright side. It could always be worse, right?

4. Smile. Even if you do not feel like it, just grin like a fool. You’ll feel better, really.

I ask you, friends, to please help us. I have prayed and prayed that I would have support in my choices. I have also prayed for little resistance. I can only pray that our choices will help us be healthier, livelier, and more productive.

Thanks for reading!

Melissa Gilbert

November 15, 2009

Poor Neglected Little Blog

2009-11-05T09:43:00.000-08:00

I feel bad for neglecting you, blog. I really do. Life has been so very busy lately that I just have not had the time. But, here is an update on our little family.

First of all, I am working an insane number of hours, but I am teaching so it is work doing something I love. Not many people get to go to work everyday and be around smart, creative, fun people who enjoy being there. I have also started graduate school. I am majoring in secondary education, so I will be able to teach in the public schools soon. (Right now I teach college.)

We're also in the process of converting to Catholicism. We're going through RCIA which is basically a class that lasts several months to prepare people to enter the Catholic Church. We love it. Our confirmation and first communion is Feb. 7, 2010. We're currently attending St. Anne's Catholic Church.

Jason, the dear husband, has also started grad school. We're actually doing the exact same program except he wants to teach middle school and I want to teach freshmen high-schoolers. We would both love to teach at a private Catholic school.

Natalie started preschool this August. I had toyed with the idea of homeschooling her, but I am not confident enough in my ability to actually do it. She is going to public school right now, but we plan to try to move her to a Catholic private school by first grade. The cost is just something that we are struggling with. She loves school though.

Look for more posts soon!

Earth Day at the Greenway!

2009-04-18T19:35:00.000-07:00

Today we went to an Earth Day Celebration at the Greenway in Fort Mill. We had such a nice time. Natalie got to pet goats (and a baby goat that she adored!), cows, sheep, horses, and dogs! There were chickens there too... but we didn't pet those! They didn't look too friendly.

After the petting was over, we washed our hands and went to get Natalie's face painted! She asked for a pink heart and that's exactly what she got. She was such a good girl sitting still! She didn't want me to wash it off before bed tonight... but the lucky girl gets to keep it a while longer because the paints stained her face! LOL

After the face painting, we went into the little animal museum there and looked at bobcats, owls, hawks, and coyotes! We even got to touch a few skins.

Of course, they had some arts and crafts to do... we made sun hats and learned about why we should take care of our skin from the sun. They passed out odd packets of sunscreen that we graciously declined. We will just stick with the hat.

Of course, my princess had to wear her princess crown all day too!

I hope you enjoy the pictures! I enjoyed taking them!

D-E-F-E-N-S-E!

2009-04-05T09:17:00.000-07:00

Defense get that ball!!

I cheered in high school for the girls varsity basketball team. As much as I hate cliques, this was a really different experience for me. The other day Natalie came across some cute pom poms at the dollar store. She loved them so much that they came home with us.

She was singing and dancing the Wildcat cheers from High School Musical 3... so I decided to teach her one of our simpler cheers from my days on the squad.

D-E-F-E-N-S-E... defense get that ball!

There's nothing to it really. She catches on quickly though. And she is so cute doing it!

Farmer's Market

2009-04-03T11:49:00.000-07:00

I am so excited that the farmer's market is open again! Thank goodness for SPRING!

I went to the market today and got a whole bunch of goodies for around $9! As you can see in the photo, I got a bunch of pole beans, a few tomatoes, green peppers, celery, cabbage, garlic, bananas, and sweet potatoes. There are really quite a few sweet potatoes there... I may have gone a bit over board... but they were only $0.19/lb! What a steal!!

The Park

2009-02-08T16:11:00.000-08:00

In addition to our art project today, we also met up with a friend of mine and her son at the park inbetween our houses. The kiddos had a blast.

Her son, Holden, turned a year old in November and could not be cuter. Natalie loves to mommy him. She even named her baby doll Holden.

They enjoyed the beautiful weather today (right around 70 degrees all day and just a gentle breeze) and they played on the slides and swings. Then we had a nice snack and parted ways. You should have seen Holden grinning when Natalie gave a kiss on the head! :)

Portrait of the Artist

2009-02-08T16:00:00.000-08:00

Today we made a few art projects. We did hearts for Valentine's Day and talked about how Valentine's Day is for people to show each other that they are special. We also traced our hands (she did hers all by herself!) and cut up some paper. Natalie had never used scissors before, so I thought she caught on pretty quickly! She cut and snipped for almost an hour! It was scissor love!

Then we made some lunch after we did our projects. Natalie made peanut butter and honey sandwiches on organic wheat bread. (It's special peanut butter - just nuts and oil freshly smashed up!)

Natalie did a very good job spreading the peanut butter with a butter knife and she even got to cut the sandwich herself! She was so sweet because she told me that I could have half of it because I was her Valentine. :) I love this kid! We finished off with some frozen grapes, yum!

To Preschool or Not?

2009-02-08T09:07:00.000-08:00

"Oh, my child is turning four! I must send her to the best preschool. She's been on the waiting list since my husband and I started trying to conceive...but I am still worried that she might not get in for this year!"

I really DO NOT want to be that mom. Natalie is three. She goes to daycare... against my better judgment but that's not a battle I want to have with the dear ole hubby again right now. Two weeks ago the daycare owner told us that if we hoped to get Natalie into the public (free) preschool for the fall that we needed to get her application in by the following week at the latest. Gosh, don't you love deadlines?

So this got the gears turning in my head. Should Natalie go to preschool? I did. My husband did - but we had totally different experiences.

More than that, should Natalie go to public school? I have absolutely no faith in the public school system. I am sorry to those few wonderful teachers out there trying to make a difference. The problems with the system are too big for a handful of great teachers to fix, IMO. Once upon a time I wanted to be a public school teacher. Then I started getting into the school system and actually reading about it. So I changed my major. (I'd much rather be a librarian and/or do art preservation.) And I knew that I did not want my child to go to public school.

I don't want her to go to a snooty school like the one the mom at the beginning of my post is trying to get her kid into.... first of all, we're middle class. We can't afford $1000 a month for a preschool. If I were to send her to a private preschool, it would be a Montessori school. I love the Montessori methods and have studied (and applied) them extensively.

So I asked my husband what he thought. I told him that I did not want her going to public school - and I am not wavering on that - and I told him how much our local Montessori school costs ($6000/year!) and I asked him what he thought we should do.

He thought about it a little while and here is what he said:
Natalie's a smart and curious kid. We're both very educated. I have a degree in theater and creative writing. I have a strong background in language arts and social studies. You have a degree in English and are only a few credits away from degrees in Early Childhood Education, History, and Art/Art History. You have a solid background in educational theory and practice and I am getting a stronger background with every class I take. Why not home school? Maybe try it for the "preschool" years and see how it goes.

Well...... that's really not what I expected my husband to say! His biggest concern is that she will be "weird" and I think that means unsocialized. But I really think there have to be ways around that! Don't you? So there it is... stewing on the back burner. I have some more reading to do, but I've been thinking about it. I still have really another 2 years before I HAVE to send her to school (according to SC laws) so why not give it a try? Maybe like a pre-test before the exam? Oh, and believe me.... this is something that I never expected to even consider!

Bye-bye pop!

2009-02-06T13:11:00.000-08:00

I gave it all away. I had 6, yes, SIX fridge packs of diet pepsi in my closet. But it is all gone now! I gave it all to other people. That was one thing that I was really struggling with giving up. Wish me luck, say a prayer, or whatever you do because I have NEVER been able to give up pop. I am pretty confident that I will be able to do it this time because I really don't want those nasty chemicals in my body! Would you?

Hugs!

Back on the Wagon

2009-01-31T19:18:00.000-08:00

I was desperate. I caved in. I took the easy way out. But, I am getting back on track now. My new year’s resolution was to eat a more traditional diet. I was doing so well... and then I got caught up in the New Year’s Diet Craze. I should have known what would happen. I joined Weight Watchers. I wanted to lose the weight so badly, and I remembered that I have always had success with WW. The problem is that in order to lose a few pounds, I have to sacrifice quality food and eat what I feel are “fake foods.” Now, I realize that the Weight Watchers people are focusing on eating “filling foods” such as whole grains and vegetables, but the problem is that they still want the members to eat the “one ingredient away from being plastic” butter substitute and fat free everything. A dear friend convinced me that the body does need some fat!

So I quit. I do thank Weight Watchers for one thing… helping me re-learn what a proper portion looks like. With the super sized servings that we are so accustomed to today, it’s not hard to forget how much we really should eat.
My revamped diet is one of my own creation (with the thankful educational tips from a couple great people!) and my husband has taken to calling it the “1950’s diet” even though I guess it’s not really that at all.

My plan is to just be simple. Try to get back to what my New Year’s Resolution was supposed to be. Be good to my body, be good to the Earth, and live like people are supposed to live, naturally. Eat things that I make with my own two hands, avoid processed foods – especially HFCS! – and get some exercise and sunshine whenever possible.

Let’s see how it goes!

A Poem

2009-01-31T19:08:00.001-08:00

My mom told me a few days ago that her best friend from grade school is dying of cancer. She wanted to send a card but told me that she didn't know what to say. So as I was laying down to go to sleep that evening, these words floated through my head and I put pen to paper.

Here's the result.

I thought of you today as I do once in a while

Memories of our times spent together always make me smile

The years have passed in the blink of an eye

But, my friend, I am not ready to say goodbye

Perhaps in God's garden we'll meet again someday

For your life and our memories, each day I pray

Fearful of forgetting the way we were so many years past

Fearful of a day coming that may be our last

The secrets we shared and the chances we took

Will live in my heart like an unfinished book

Across these many miles I wish you could know

That the world is not ready to let you go

Now, the funny thing is that I emailed this to my mom and she called me later to say that the poem was perfect. She wanted to know where I found a poem that had just the right words.... well, mom, I wrote it! :)

Chicken Soup Warms the Soul

2009-01-31T18:54:00.000-08:00

I have always heard that chicken soup cures winter ills. My little tot, Natalie, has had a cough, fever, and been so hoarse today! So I thought a little chicken soup might make her feel a bit better. My first batch of homemade chicken broth didn't turn out so good, so I used store bought broth, but it was organic from those "free range" chickens. I hope that's a decent enough substitute for now.

My recipe was one of those "make it up as you go along" type things. I didn't have a whole lot in the house, so a few extras like potatoes went in too. I really wanted some celery to put in there but didn't want to drag poor little sick girl to the market.
The soup was actually pretty cheap. I had some good chicken breast (no hormones or antibiotics) and cooked up one breast in a pan with some olive oil and seasonings.

While that was cooking, I simmered three big carrots, one really big potato, two cloves of garlic, 1/2 an onion, and some pasta in the chicken broth. When the chicken was done, I shredded it up and added it to the soup and seasoned some more.

For about $6, it made a huge pot of soup and we have at least three big bowls worth of leftovers. I've already packed some up for my husband to take to work tomorrow!

Now, that's certainly not the best picture around since it was simmering and I took it with my cell phone, but it does show all the goodies inside!

We ate it steaming hot with a big hunk of fresh sourdough bread. YUM!

Fun in the little bit of SC snow!

2009-01-21T19:31:00.000-08:00

Christmas 2008

2008-12-30T05:12:00.001-08:00

Christmas this year was great! Natalie is really starting to grasp the idea and had so much fun! She is the only grandchild, so she was thoroughly spoiled! Here are a few pictures.

Natalie's New Skirt

2008-12-13T18:32:00.000-08:00

Good evening! My daughter, Natalie, has been itching for me to make her a new loooooong skirt, as she says. She wanted one that would touch the ground, mostly so that she could dance around like a princess! So I went through my stockpile of fabric and made up this little creation. It's a tad big around the waist, but I was worried that it would shrink a little in the wash. It's a fine corduroy.

I thought this little green sweater would look nice with it too. It also has a matching hooded, long sleeve sweater in case we get some cooler weather. (This is SC, you know!)

I hope you like it! Natalie sure does!

The Farmer's Market

2008-12-09T16:05:00.000-08:00

The powers of Google are not to be denied. After realizing that our local farmer's market was only seasonal - hey, I'm new at this! - I was a bit disappointed. What's better than a farmer's market? Really? So, I went to my good old pal, Google, and did a quick search. I found a huge market in Charlotte that is open year round! What a treasure! Now, I would rather visit a SC market since I do live in SC, but the nearest year-round SC market was an hour and a half away.... not the most frugal choice.

So, hopefully soon I will be able to write all about my first trip to this huge market!

Meal Plans

2008-12-09T15:57:00.000-08:00

I really want to start planning our meals and making our dollars stretch a little further. I will be taking a paycut in January, so I need to start getting used to it now and stocking the pantry. Here is this week's menu. I didn't get to it yesterday, so I just started with today. I am also trying to add in some meat to my diet and more veggies, of course.

Tuesday
Breakfast: Bacon, Eggs, Toast
Lunch: Out
Dinner: Spaghetti
Wednesday
Breakfast: Bacon, Fried Eggs, Toast
Lunch: Tuna Salad Sandwiches, Tomato Soup
Dinner: Chicken Noodle Soup, Grilled Cheese Sandwiches
Thursday
Breakfast: Boiled Eggs, Toast, Yogurt
Lunch: Left Overs
Dinner: Chili and Cornbread
Friday
Breakfast: Bacon, Fried Eggs, Toast
Lunch: Taco Salad
Dinner: Beef Stew
Saturday
Breakfast: Pancakes, Scrambled Eggs with Cheese, Sausage
Lunch: Hamburgers, Home Fries, and Peas
Dinner: Crock Pot Lasagna
Sunday
Breakfast: Sausage, Gravy, Biscuits, Eggs
Lunch: Left Overs
Dinner: Chicken, Rice, Broccoli Casserole (**Providing I can find a recipe that doesn't use condensed soup**)

Now I am really hungry! I can't wait to get to the grocery store!

Evolution of a Lifestyle

2008-12-04T12:26:00.000-08:00

Today is December 4, 2008. I am beginning to prepare for the new year. My new year's resolution for 2009 is to evolve. I have spent a lot of time this past year learning and reading about different lifestyles. I have tried diets, menus, vegetarianism, exercise, nutrition classes, and more. But, that has all just led me to my ultimate decision: learning never stops.

Just when I think I have it all figured out, something else hurls its way into my path that changes my mind, sometimes just a little bit, sometimes radically. So what does that have to do with my resolution? Everything. My resolution is to evolve with the knowledge that I obtain and not feel bad for making mistakes in my ignorance. That's just silly if you think about it.

Evolve. Yes, that is a pretty vague resolution, but it is really just part of the plan. I have a few guidelines that I plan to implement, but those could always change if I learn that they are not the ideal.

Here are my guidelines:
1. Love every day. There's always something there that is good.
2. Take time to mediate everyday - even if it is just a few minutes before falling asleep.
3. Eat better. Make more meals with organic, local, in-season products.... and actually make them at home.
4. Learn to cook without a recipe.
5. Be creative with food and do not fear it.
6. Read more than just fiction.
7. Store food. Can food. Preserve it.
8. Be frugal. Make the money stretch. Eat leftovers. :-)
9. Exercise. (This is going to be a hard one for me!)
10. Go natural and earth friendly.

Well, that list is a year in the making..... I hope with every fiber of my being that I am successful in the coming year. That is my goal.

Oh, and one more thing...... I want to track my progress on this blog!

Thanks for visiting!
Melissa